A friend asked me what I might suggest for a hypothetical acquaintance who was weary juggling family, job, marriage, church involvement, economic stresses, and community activities. These are some things I quickly thought of to share with that hypothetical friend.
Margin - a number of Christian spiritual thinkers are saying we need to start building more margin into our lives. That means a buffer between us and so much activity, giving some breathing room. Maybe reduce the time we spend checking the news...fast from something (more folks now are talking about 1 meal, or 1 normal activity - or chocolate, etc.) just to help focus.
Exercise - most anybody will tell us that the more we can exercise, the more fit we'll be, and the better we'll sleep. 1/2 hour per day is recommended... and maybe leave the ipod at home. A simple walk can suffice, these days, the cheaper, the better! I have temp masks that allow me to walk in freezing temps.
Rewards - maybe start rewarding oneself upon accomplishment of certain tasks; really! For a CPA, I might suggest, if he finishes up a payroll report, or completes a tax return, trot down the stairs, around the new hardwood, go get a treat stashed in the vehicle! Or, phone a buddy in SS class, just to boost his morale.
Do the jumble on line http://www.jumble.com/ . Or, save the fun things in his day, "till after I finish this". Somehow encourage him to build in some rewards, even if small, silly, or contrived.
Refresh - more and more, especially with this economic daily news, we need refreshing. Lunch with someone who can relate, connect... even pray in their vehicle together, about real stuff. I went to a counselor on two different occasions, relating to job changes. At the end of 3-4 sessions, I commented that he was really just a paid friend. He Agreed!!! He said, "that's all I am!" But we are so disconnected from folks, and so superficial in relationships, that it would take a lot for us to open up to someone we'd trust enough to share real stuff. Perish the thought that we should admit an inadequacy, or a concern that's bugging us. That's a serious guy problem today. [[Top Sacred: I find some of my best talks can be with my ADD friends, or one who's been divorced! The ADD guy can't keep himself from talking! And the divorced guy, if a maturing Christian, has been so broken open like a watermelon in front of everybody, he no longer has any reservations!]]
Re-Checking - I have a couple of guys who use me, or I them, just as accountability partners in certain areas. Simple as trying to be sure both of us contact 2 guys a week on 100+ person SS list ( that had some great results with families, we both got bogged down and quit) A prayer commitment for 2 weeks about a certain issue, and then check to see what results have shown. So this can be with someone he's not deep friends with, just has enough respect for in a mutual area of concern.
Reading - LifeWay and Family Christian websites have lots of good books... and then he may find them on Amazon for 1c... + $4 shipping. Maybe realize that he CAN do without the news every other day. Turn up the good, turn down the bad.
Recharge - The AJC Sunday paper has 1-tank getaways from Atlanta... ideas of just getting out of town. But even some really cheap stuff... visit the new public library... plunk down the money for a Tellus visit. Do different things than he's been doing. Drive different roads to work daily. Call the old buddy who meant lots in college...(facebook searches can be produce neat connections). Break out of any routine he can, to get to the stuff that energizes you. One guy personally can't tolerate anti-depressants, so he watches Joel Osteen while he irons!!
Renew - Spiritually. Be sure to build in time for a daily time with the Lord. Tell this guy to try some different things. Read through Bible in a new translation... read books out of order! I am constantly reading spiritually stirring stuff, in addition to the Bible, and preparing for two SS lessons per week. The time with the Lord is critical, and sometimes it's enhanced by a book by John Ortberg, John Eldredge, Katie Brazelton, etc.
Re-educate! Maybe take a parenting course through the BCWRC like ScreamFree Parenting, Value Packed Parenting, Raising Kids That Turn Out Right, etc. Sometimes a few tips can help improve family life tremendously! I once heard that if you go to a conference, and get one good idea that works, it was worth your money.
Reconnect - with family. More and more parenting professionals, and counselors, are bemoaning the number of things we have our children in and going to. Maybe this fellow and his family need to consider something I recently heard: 1 activity, per child, per season. Avoid traveling teams like the flu!! Get in the floor, with a board game, and tape the TV remote to the back of the TV.
Slow Down - deliberately wait 24 hours to respond to some personal emails (maybe). Get in the longest line at Walmart. He may want to practice 1/2 day per week doing things like that... taking the road home with the most redlights... to practice slowing down, and seeing that God still takes care of things.
Power Boosts - http://www.ransomedheart.net/, http://www.purposedriven.net/, http://www.screamfree.com/, http://www.joelosteen.com/ , http://www.intouch.com/ all offer emailed devotionals that mostly come in the morning, that could be of help to our friend... just be careful not to overload the inbox!! Also, he can go to GodTube, and YouTube, and search for his favorite songs... minimize, and have a mini worship service at work or home.
These are just some things off the top of my head that could be of service. Obviously, if I got to talk to him personally, I might could better tailor a plan that would be more suitable. Some of these things he might pick up and try, and get help from on his own. Other guys might want a more accountable relationship, where one walks alongside, checking in on him weekly. NOT the "did you commit one of these sins this week" but "we talked about you trying this and that... did you? How did it work out? Would something else get a better result? What else do you want to work on?" etc.
I've talked about this guy so much, it's almost like he's become real! Maybe he is... he sounds like most of us!
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