Okay! Here is the Yearly Wed Guy to the Nearly Wed Guy version! (As written by the wife for him). This is the real thing!:
When I read Hubby the stuff I sent you, he thought it was hilarious. I asked him if he had anything to add, and so he gave me his Top Ten. I didn't make these up--these are all Hubby:
"Have patience, because you are not used to her emotional side, but you are used to walking it off or putting dirt on it."
"Never go to bed angry. Don't let it go just to quit an argument. Work through it together"."
"Everybody will say she's always right, but that's wrong, and nobody is perfect."
"When in competition with your wife, it is best to use what I learned while riding my motorcycle--the SEE method of Search-Evaluate-Execute. Search for the problem. Evaluate the problem, seeing what you can and can't do to make it better, and Execute that solution."
"Expect her to do everything. Just kidding... expect each team member to do his or her own part. This is a partnership, in the cleaning, the grocery shopping, and everything."
"Guys... remember the little things, the things that you did that first year you were dating. Remember to give her a kiss when you wake up or a kiss when you walk in the door. You can never say 'I Love You' enough. Get up early in the morning and go get her breakfast, even when you could use that extra hour of sleep. And really, any little thing that you think could be corny or lame, go ahead and do it, because it means the world to her."
"When your wife wants a dog, tell her no. When you want a dog, say no."
"This is for the wives: When your husband has these weird ideas--like riding a horse, getting a kayak, riding a Harley, scuba-diving, or at the greatest extreme, climbing Mount Everest--just know that this is his adventurous side coming out. It's not that he's bored with you, but he's just being 'wild at heart.' Remember that his greatest accomplishment is you."
"Guys, we're always one not to take advice, but it's good to take advice, even from older guys who may have written you poems in high school. It's always good to listen to what they have to say."
"Last, and finally, it's always good to take a moment every day, whether in the morning or at night, to pray for your spouse, because whatever issues you may be going through, she might be going through, too. Even if it's just putting up with you, or work, or anything, always pray for her. There isn't a class about marriage. This is an up front, hands on experience."
OKAY! That was the real thing, from the male perspective after the first year!!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wife of One Year Shares NewlyWed Advice!
Okay! Since the question comes up that so much material for premarital conversations/coaching comes from men, I asked one of my newlywed wife friends to write me what I should share, to get the lady's perspective on things. My specific question was, "what do you what me to be sure to pass on to the young couples?".
Since this is SO from the heart, I deleted personal references. Here's her response:
LOL!!! Tell them to run now while they still can! Lol... j/k completely...
I think the biggest thing for us has been learning how to communicate as married people and not as dating people. I was telling a friend about this just the other day... before we were married, we had everyday life STUFF (i.e. finances, family stuff, job stuff, school stuff, home stuff, etc.) that we dealt with on an individual basis. You're constantly dealing with those things, but not in conjunction with your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance, etc. You keep those things separate and talk about them with that person at dinner or on the phone, but for the most part, you're dealing with your stuff and he or she is dealing with his or hers.
Now that we're married, our lives are completely slammed together... my job stuff, his job stuff, OUR home stuff, our finances, etc., and we are not only trying to keep the relationship alive, but we're now dealing with life issues with a person with whom we never had to deal with those things before. It's different from working out issues with a roommate or with a parent, because of the nature of the marriage relationship, but it's important to work through those communication issues through open honesty and humility.
With that being said, for ladies, I think it's important that for those brief moments in time in which we are seeking positive, open communication, we are able to put our emotionality down for a second and trust our guys to make good decisions. For example, when we first started dealing with certain STUFF issues, hubby and I would get into heated discussions and I would get frustrated and scream or fuss or cry, etc. My conflict style is to just leave the room, so a lot of times I would try to squeeze in a last word and leave. hubby's conflict style is to just sulk up and not say anything.
Between those two things, we never got anything accomplished. In those conversations now, it's important for both of us to be honest and for me to take the emotional card out of the deck for a short time and not let my feelings stepped on. It's almost humorous now, because we'll say, "I'm not trying to make you mad, but I just want you to be aware of this..." I think for guys, it's important to realize that we need to communicate often about STUFF and that he needs to be the leader in those conversations in order to make sure that the girl feels secure and steady.
Other things... I think it's important to be forgiving, both for the other person and for yourself. If there's anything that God has taught me in the last year, it's what grace really is. It's living with somebody who sees your every flaw... how you get angry over the little things, how you hate putting dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, how you love to sulk up, etc... but still loves you and wants to make this marriage thing work.
On the flip side, when you understand that side of yourself, you understand the consequences of your actions and how they affect other people, no matter how big or how small, and that makes you want to go to the cross because you now know why Jesus wants to refine you. I think it's important to have grace for that other person because it is undoubtedly a huge transition period, but also grace and forgiveness for yourself because you know God is leading and directing you and polishing you into something better.
This is a very long-winded email, so here are my top ten things I thing newly-married ladies should remember in marriage:
10) You are not your husband's mom, and he may or may not look at you that way. It's important to be very clear about that in a loving way. You are going to be handling some of the same household things that a husband may be used to from a mom, but you need to encourage and discuss how household things are going to be done as a couple.
9) Guy time is just as important as your girl time, and when he hangs out with his friends, it's not because he is getting tired of you. I think hubby is a more content person when he can get out those testosterone spells with his guys, and it gives us a chance to be independent of one another for a while and still bring that individuality into our marriage.
8) If he ignores you, fails to realize what he's done, or does something that you want to throw a plate at him for, it's probably not his fault, but probably just because he is a guy and didn't look at it the way you did. I finally realized that there are a lot of times I will get frustrated with hubby that he has no clue at because I looked at it from a female perspective and he looked at it from a male perspective.
7) Don't get mad at him when he is clueless, but have some of that mercy and grace I was talking about.
6) Understand that he is going to get frustrated with you because you are an emotional creature and that he is learning how to show mercy and grace just like you are.
5) Build a positive relationship with your spouse's family, and show them that you have something to offer. You are a member of that family now, too, and sometimes that can be overwhelming, but don't be afraid to step up to the plate and bring a dessert to Christmas without being asked, etc.
4) Open and honest communication and prayer is the most important factor to making stuff work, but it is also the hardest thing to do. Put your pride down and be real with what you're thinking... your spouse will appreciate it.
3) Do not feel like you are Super Woman and can handle everything all at once, like school, work, home stuff, etc. There's a cross where you're supposed to put those burdens, and it takes time to learn how to manage time, energy, and responsibility like the Proverbs 31 woman. I think that woman must be the Proverbs 31 grandma, because there are days when I feel like I'll never figure that stuff out.
2) Equip your husband to feel adventurous. Give him opportunities to "save the day," to build things, to be a leader, and to know that he's successful. This is how he's made in the image of God, and if he understands how he is created in God's image, then he will more aptly pursue an understanding of how you are created in God's image as a girl.
1) Respect your husband, because that's what the Bible says we're supposed to do and because it's what our husbands need. Even if there are days when he is a complete jerk, he still needs respect because he's the head of the household and that's how God made it. Put the emotions away and still treat him respectfully, and eventually, you can work out whatever issue it is for the greater benefit.
Wow... that's a lot of information, but I hope it is helpful. I can't believe it's almost been a year for us! I tell people that this is my first year teaching and my first year of marriage, and that all I know is that I have more gray hairs than I used to and no idea where they came from :-D. Thanks for asking me for my input... anytime I can help someone out from what I've learned, it's a great thing.
Since this is SO from the heart, I deleted personal references. Here's her response:
LOL!!! Tell them to run now while they still can! Lol... j/k completely...
I think the biggest thing for us has been learning how to communicate as married people and not as dating people. I was telling a friend about this just the other day... before we were married, we had everyday life STUFF (i.e. finances, family stuff, job stuff, school stuff, home stuff, etc.) that we dealt with on an individual basis. You're constantly dealing with those things, but not in conjunction with your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance, etc. You keep those things separate and talk about them with that person at dinner or on the phone, but for the most part, you're dealing with your stuff and he or she is dealing with his or hers.
Now that we're married, our lives are completely slammed together... my job stuff, his job stuff, OUR home stuff, our finances, etc., and we are not only trying to keep the relationship alive, but we're now dealing with life issues with a person with whom we never had to deal with those things before. It's different from working out issues with a roommate or with a parent, because of the nature of the marriage relationship, but it's important to work through those communication issues through open honesty and humility.
With that being said, for ladies, I think it's important that for those brief moments in time in which we are seeking positive, open communication, we are able to put our emotionality down for a second and trust our guys to make good decisions. For example, when we first started dealing with certain STUFF issues, hubby and I would get into heated discussions and I would get frustrated and scream or fuss or cry, etc. My conflict style is to just leave the room, so a lot of times I would try to squeeze in a last word and leave. hubby's conflict style is to just sulk up and not say anything.
Between those two things, we never got anything accomplished. In those conversations now, it's important for both of us to be honest and for me to take the emotional card out of the deck for a short time and not let my feelings stepped on. It's almost humorous now, because we'll say, "I'm not trying to make you mad, but I just want you to be aware of this..." I think for guys, it's important to realize that we need to communicate often about STUFF and that he needs to be the leader in those conversations in order to make sure that the girl feels secure and steady.
Other things... I think it's important to be forgiving, both for the other person and for yourself. If there's anything that God has taught me in the last year, it's what grace really is. It's living with somebody who sees your every flaw... how you get angry over the little things, how you hate putting dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, how you love to sulk up, etc... but still loves you and wants to make this marriage thing work.
On the flip side, when you understand that side of yourself, you understand the consequences of your actions and how they affect other people, no matter how big or how small, and that makes you want to go to the cross because you now know why Jesus wants to refine you. I think it's important to have grace for that other person because it is undoubtedly a huge transition period, but also grace and forgiveness for yourself because you know God is leading and directing you and polishing you into something better.
This is a very long-winded email, so here are my top ten things I thing newly-married ladies should remember in marriage:
10) You are not your husband's mom, and he may or may not look at you that way. It's important to be very clear about that in a loving way. You are going to be handling some of the same household things that a husband may be used to from a mom, but you need to encourage and discuss how household things are going to be done as a couple.
9) Guy time is just as important as your girl time, and when he hangs out with his friends, it's not because he is getting tired of you. I think hubby is a more content person when he can get out those testosterone spells with his guys, and it gives us a chance to be independent of one another for a while and still bring that individuality into our marriage.
8) If he ignores you, fails to realize what he's done, or does something that you want to throw a plate at him for, it's probably not his fault, but probably just because he is a guy and didn't look at it the way you did. I finally realized that there are a lot of times I will get frustrated with hubby that he has no clue at because I looked at it from a female perspective and he looked at it from a male perspective.
7) Don't get mad at him when he is clueless, but have some of that mercy and grace I was talking about.
6) Understand that he is going to get frustrated with you because you are an emotional creature and that he is learning how to show mercy and grace just like you are.
5) Build a positive relationship with your spouse's family, and show them that you have something to offer. You are a member of that family now, too, and sometimes that can be overwhelming, but don't be afraid to step up to the plate and bring a dessert to Christmas without being asked, etc.
4) Open and honest communication and prayer is the most important factor to making stuff work, but it is also the hardest thing to do. Put your pride down and be real with what you're thinking... your spouse will appreciate it.
3) Do not feel like you are Super Woman and can handle everything all at once, like school, work, home stuff, etc. There's a cross where you're supposed to put those burdens, and it takes time to learn how to manage time, energy, and responsibility like the Proverbs 31 woman. I think that woman must be the Proverbs 31 grandma, because there are days when I feel like I'll never figure that stuff out.
2) Equip your husband to feel adventurous. Give him opportunities to "save the day," to build things, to be a leader, and to know that he's successful. This is how he's made in the image of God, and if he understands how he is created in God's image, then he will more aptly pursue an understanding of how you are created in God's image as a girl.
1) Respect your husband, because that's what the Bible says we're supposed to do and because it's what our husbands need. Even if there are days when he is a complete jerk, he still needs respect because he's the head of the household and that's how God made it. Put the emotions away and still treat him respectfully, and eventually, you can work out whatever issue it is for the greater benefit.
Wow... that's a lot of information, but I hope it is helpful. I can't believe it's almost been a year for us! I tell people that this is my first year teaching and my first year of marriage, and that all I know is that I have more gray hairs than I used to and no idea where they came from :-D. Thanks for asking me for my input... anytime I can help someone out from what I've learned, it's a great thing.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
What Is A Life Purpose Coach?
This is an email answer I gave to a young friend who asked: What is a Certified Life Purpose Coach?
The Life Purpose Coaching is a more specific type of coaching, aimed at helping you discover your unique design, and how God has directed you and equipped you so far. Of interest is what you enjoy doing and being the most. The point is to help YOU find the directions you should be going, to fufill your purpose. Often I work with a client through a book, one chapter per week that we both read, that helps dig into one's heart and mind. There are numerous possibilities: The Power of a Loving Man, S.H.A.P.E, Character Makeover, Telling Yourself the Truth, a John Eldredge book, or The Purpose Driven Life. Some of these things will beat us up in showing us our weaknesses!
Using the SHAPE concept, we could focus on 5 things: S - Spiritual Gift: (if you don't know yours yet, we have an inventory to help with that;) H - Heart: What's in your heart, what excites you, what would you do for free? A - Abilities: What skills or talents with people, computers, machinery, etc. do you have? P - Personality: Again, several tools are available here, like the DISC, to help you see how you work best with projects & people. E - Experiences: Where have you been, what have you done that contributes to who you are, and what you can do? How is God bringing all this together???
For a motivated man, I'd suggest we'd work through the S.H.A.P.E. book. If you're kind of "stuck" emotionally, kind of in a rut, we might use Telling Yourself The Truth. The format is a 10-week relationship, or based on the book chapters. It's generally a 50 minute telephone or face-to-face session. I'd rather work with a person who wants to change and grow, and trust the Lord for the results. He orders the book from Amazon, or wherever, and we'd go to work. We could meet somewhere convenient, or work by telephone, with email updates.
Sometimes I just listen to a guy: maybe where he's hurting, struggling... I've had several phone clients passed on from doctors, and I just kind of listen, ask a few questions, poke around, let him find his own strengths in the Lord.
A fellow looking at Holy Matrimony might be more interested in something on those lines... but being pounded with the material in S.H.A.P.E or Character Makeover would be fine preparation!
I've learned my spiritual gift is exhortation (encouragement), and part of my heart is the "least of these"... (and all of us feel like the least of these, sometimes!!) That shows up in my doing parenting classes for the Women's Resource Center, (for DFCS and Court Ordered adults who are trying to get their children back, or at least visitation rights).... that's feeling pretty "least". Another great part of my heart is my "younger brothers" (and I do work with the college & young singles in Sunday School, having spent some years with youth in general, and middle schoolers in particular).
SEE, knowing these things about myself, helps me know the areas/offers I'd thrive in, and also the areas that really wear me down. Then I can listen to my heart, and know which opportunities to say yes to (like working with a client, doing Middle School VBS) and the things to say no to (like being an active deacon again, after years of that, or working at a maintenance type job).
I am glad to work with an individual in any way that works for them. One thing we guys need is strong bonds and support systems... and I have friends in every decade of life that I know would "come back for me" like the Marines do, if they knew I was in trouble. Developing those type relationships doesn't come fast or cheaply, but is key to seeing the growth and maturity each of us is looking to build!
The Life Purpose Coaching is a more specific type of coaching, aimed at helping you discover your unique design, and how God has directed you and equipped you so far. Of interest is what you enjoy doing and being the most. The point is to help YOU find the directions you should be going, to fufill your purpose. Often I work with a client through a book, one chapter per week that we both read, that helps dig into one's heart and mind. There are numerous possibilities: The Power of a Loving Man, S.H.A.P.E, Character Makeover, Telling Yourself the Truth, a John Eldredge book, or The Purpose Driven Life. Some of these things will beat us up in showing us our weaknesses!
Using the SHAPE concept, we could focus on 5 things: S - Spiritual Gift: (if you don't know yours yet, we have an inventory to help with that;) H - Heart: What's in your heart, what excites you, what would you do for free? A - Abilities: What skills or talents with people, computers, machinery, etc. do you have? P - Personality: Again, several tools are available here, like the DISC, to help you see how you work best with projects & people. E - Experiences: Where have you been, what have you done that contributes to who you are, and what you can do? How is God bringing all this together???
For a motivated man, I'd suggest we'd work through the S.H.A.P.E. book. If you're kind of "stuck" emotionally, kind of in a rut, we might use Telling Yourself The Truth. The format is a 10-week relationship, or based on the book chapters. It's generally a 50 minute telephone or face-to-face session. I'd rather work with a person who wants to change and grow, and trust the Lord for the results. He orders the book from Amazon, or wherever, and we'd go to work. We could meet somewhere convenient, or work by telephone, with email updates.
Sometimes I just listen to a guy: maybe where he's hurting, struggling... I've had several phone clients passed on from doctors, and I just kind of listen, ask a few questions, poke around, let him find his own strengths in the Lord.
A fellow looking at Holy Matrimony might be more interested in something on those lines... but being pounded with the material in S.H.A.P.E or Character Makeover would be fine preparation!
I've learned my spiritual gift is exhortation (encouragement), and part of my heart is the "least of these"... (and all of us feel like the least of these, sometimes!!) That shows up in my doing parenting classes for the Women's Resource Center, (for DFCS and Court Ordered adults who are trying to get their children back, or at least visitation rights).... that's feeling pretty "least". Another great part of my heart is my "younger brothers" (and I do work with the college & young singles in Sunday School, having spent some years with youth in general, and middle schoolers in particular).
SEE, knowing these things about myself, helps me know the areas/offers I'd thrive in, and also the areas that really wear me down. Then I can listen to my heart, and know which opportunities to say yes to (like working with a client, doing Middle School VBS) and the things to say no to (like being an active deacon again, after years of that, or working at a maintenance type job).
I am glad to work with an individual in any way that works for them. One thing we guys need is strong bonds and support systems... and I have friends in every decade of life that I know would "come back for me" like the Marines do, if they knew I was in trouble. Developing those type relationships doesn't come fast or cheaply, but is key to seeing the growth and maturity each of us is looking to build!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Easter's Basket For Us
Whether you got an Easter Basket or not, you certainly got the full benefit of all that Easter truly means: Resurrection power for whatever you need to do... or should do for Christ.
It is interesting to me that besides the angel appearances to the ladies at the Tomb, Jesus' resurrection went off with less noise and display than a local thunderstorm. Doggone it, sometimes we'd like to see just a little "more power"... like Tim Allen is always adding to everything in the "Home Improvement" reruns.
Evidently, The Lord is quite content to do His work quietly, until the final show at the end. Maybe a little spiritual fireworks along the way, nothing that makes the papers. So, when you and I are stuck, think about the disciples after Jesus' death. All looks lost, then He starts showing up again... appearing through walls, grilling breakfast on the seaside. Acts 1 & 2 indicate the Lord works for His Glory, not our entertainment. (By the way, to enjoy the breakfast, Peter had to get soaking wet!!)
Not many of my younger singles friends were alive when the Apollo 13 tragedy took place.... but if you've seen the movie, you recall a line where the Flight Director corrected "NASA's greatest disaster" into "our finest hour". That's kind of what Jesus does for us.... empowers our weak life to make Him Glorified...with duct tape, if necessary!!
For Extra Credit, see if you think anyone in this 40 year old photo looks like Tom Hanks....
(click on Apollo 13 for picture to load) Apollo 13
It is interesting to me that besides the angel appearances to the ladies at the Tomb, Jesus' resurrection went off with less noise and display than a local thunderstorm. Doggone it, sometimes we'd like to see just a little "more power"... like Tim Allen is always adding to everything in the "Home Improvement" reruns.
Evidently, The Lord is quite content to do His work quietly, until the final show at the end. Maybe a little spiritual fireworks along the way, nothing that makes the papers. So, when you and I are stuck, think about the disciples after Jesus' death. All looks lost, then He starts showing up again... appearing through walls, grilling breakfast on the seaside. Acts 1 & 2 indicate the Lord works for His Glory, not our entertainment. (By the way, to enjoy the breakfast, Peter had to get soaking wet!!)
Not many of my younger singles friends were alive when the Apollo 13 tragedy took place.... but if you've seen the movie, you recall a line where the Flight Director corrected "NASA's greatest disaster" into "our finest hour". That's kind of what Jesus does for us.... empowers our weak life to make Him Glorified...with duct tape, if necessary!!
For Extra Credit, see if you think anyone in this 40 year old photo looks like Tom Hanks....
(click on Apollo 13 for picture to load) Apollo 13
Thursday, April 9, 2009
CASA Training
Recently I've been involved with training to be a CASA volunteer. That acronym stands for "Court Appointed Special Advocate". A CASA is a person who works with DFACS, the Juvenile Justice System, and the adults who are involved in the life of any young person who has been removed from their home by Child Protection Services ( a division of the Department of Family and Children Services).
The CASA's job is to report to the Judge what the child would like to happen regarding his future custody, and to report what the CASA himself feels would be best for the child. This involves detailed investigation and conversation with family members, the current guardian of the child, DFACS case workers, Juvenile Justice staff, teachers, and any other adults who are knowledgeable about the child's life. Most importantly, a CASA is to get to know and speak for the child to the world of adults who are part of the decision-making process regarding his future home or placement.
In Georgia, there are strong legal directives toward permanency within a year. Parents who are charged with negligence, abuse, drug use, or other child-endangerment actions may have less than a year to correct their mistakes, reorder their home, lifestyle and work patterns.
In doing Parenting Education for the Bartow County Women's Resource Center, a non-profit which provides training for parents, I see some interesting situations. Sometimes a parent starts a court ordered program, or only registers for classes, and then abandons their plan.... that often can mean they've given up hope of recovery to a level that the authorities determine they are capable of caring for their children. Other parents show me pictures of their children, telling me about them, and about their own desire to be reunited as a family.
Visiting in court settings, drug court, and panel reviews, I've witnessed some horrific stories and pictures of child abuse, which no adult caregiver can "explain". I've been in small conference rooms where a preschooler responds to the foster parent as a real mom, and does not even recognize the birth mother 1 seat away. Sometimes I've heard the people in charge of a child's welfare tell the family of origin: "you cannot demonstrate the ability to care for yourself, much less care for your child".
I have also seen parents make amazing progress in turning from a life of destruction, to self-sufficiency and renewal. I've heard judges tell parents, "I had no hope for you 2 years ago, and now am very proud of your progress, and am returning your children to you".
In the midst of an world-wide economic "meltdown", with the Pentagon's computer systems being assaulted millions of times per day, with the discovery that viruses and codes placed by foreign sources are scattered throughout our power grid control system, I have other news.
It is my conclusion that our greatest problem in America is the unreported headline story of the collapse of the American family. Greatly driven by the drug and sexual saturation of our culture, the implosion (and sometimes explosion) of the family as a unit in our country is now showing up in the 3rd generation of families.
We need to be praying for individuals in our legal system, law enforcement, and social services to be empowered to be strong in battle. The foe is unrelenting in his assault. Thankfully, there is an unseen army available on our behalf! (Josua 5:14-15).
The CASA's job is to report to the Judge what the child would like to happen regarding his future custody, and to report what the CASA himself feels would be best for the child. This involves detailed investigation and conversation with family members, the current guardian of the child, DFACS case workers, Juvenile Justice staff, teachers, and any other adults who are knowledgeable about the child's life. Most importantly, a CASA is to get to know and speak for the child to the world of adults who are part of the decision-making process regarding his future home or placement.
In Georgia, there are strong legal directives toward permanency within a year. Parents who are charged with negligence, abuse, drug use, or other child-endangerment actions may have less than a year to correct their mistakes, reorder their home, lifestyle and work patterns.
In doing Parenting Education for the Bartow County Women's Resource Center, a non-profit which provides training for parents, I see some interesting situations. Sometimes a parent starts a court ordered program, or only registers for classes, and then abandons their plan.... that often can mean they've given up hope of recovery to a level that the authorities determine they are capable of caring for their children. Other parents show me pictures of their children, telling me about them, and about their own desire to be reunited as a family.
Visiting in court settings, drug court, and panel reviews, I've witnessed some horrific stories and pictures of child abuse, which no adult caregiver can "explain". I've been in small conference rooms where a preschooler responds to the foster parent as a real mom, and does not even recognize the birth mother 1 seat away. Sometimes I've heard the people in charge of a child's welfare tell the family of origin: "you cannot demonstrate the ability to care for yourself, much less care for your child".
I have also seen parents make amazing progress in turning from a life of destruction, to self-sufficiency and renewal. I've heard judges tell parents, "I had no hope for you 2 years ago, and now am very proud of your progress, and am returning your children to you".
In the midst of an world-wide economic "meltdown", with the Pentagon's computer systems being assaulted millions of times per day, with the discovery that viruses and codes placed by foreign sources are scattered throughout our power grid control system, I have other news.
It is my conclusion that our greatest problem in America is the unreported headline story of the collapse of the American family. Greatly driven by the drug and sexual saturation of our culture, the implosion (and sometimes explosion) of the family as a unit in our country is now showing up in the 3rd generation of families.
We need to be praying for individuals in our legal system, law enforcement, and social services to be empowered to be strong in battle. The foe is unrelenting in his assault. Thankfully, there is an unseen army available on our behalf! (Josua 5:14-15).
Friday, April 3, 2009
Dark Tombs, Heavy Stones
When the time of Easter approaches, it reminds me of the amazing chain of events that was triggered by Jesus' Resurrection. Our sins were nailed in effect to His cross, and as He rose from the dead, we did as well.
Cleansing and being right with God had always been possible... the Old Testament proclaims that when it speaks of men like Moses, with whom God spoke face to face. Our friends Enoch and Elijah were taken up to the heavens, and David was a man "after God's own heart".
A pure heart before God was possible, but the sacrifices for sin were complex (read Deuteronomy again!), and the Holy Spirit was not available to indwell every believer until 40 days after Jesus' ascension. Those of us living post Pentecost have much to be grateful for about our relationship with the Lord!!
But we can still fail to walk in that fullness, still fail to claim His power for our day, and still fail to invite Him to be part of each of our activities. We can actually get buried in emotional, spiritual, and psychological tombs... as dark as the unused tomb where Nicodemus and friends laid Jesus' body, before the Roman soldiers rolled the stone and sealed the opening. We can live in Dark Tombs, with Heavy Stones.
How to get out? Well, Jesus had demonstrated it with his good friend Lazarus... saying, "Lazarus, come forth". I think it's safe to say that God wants all of us out of our tombs, and unwrapped from the graveclothes of the past. God is calling us out of those dark, heavy histories of life. When Jesus came out of His tomb, He brought us and our stories out with Him, into Heaven's light!
Confess them, Reject Them, Correct Them, and Leave Them Behind!!
Cleansing and being right with God had always been possible... the Old Testament proclaims that when it speaks of men like Moses, with whom God spoke face to face. Our friends Enoch and Elijah were taken up to the heavens, and David was a man "after God's own heart".
A pure heart before God was possible, but the sacrifices for sin were complex (read Deuteronomy again!), and the Holy Spirit was not available to indwell every believer until 40 days after Jesus' ascension. Those of us living post Pentecost have much to be grateful for about our relationship with the Lord!!
But we can still fail to walk in that fullness, still fail to claim His power for our day, and still fail to invite Him to be part of each of our activities. We can actually get buried in emotional, spiritual, and psychological tombs... as dark as the unused tomb where Nicodemus and friends laid Jesus' body, before the Roman soldiers rolled the stone and sealed the opening. We can live in Dark Tombs, with Heavy Stones.
How to get out? Well, Jesus had demonstrated it with his good friend Lazarus... saying, "Lazarus, come forth". I think it's safe to say that God wants all of us out of our tombs, and unwrapped from the graveclothes of the past. God is calling us out of those dark, heavy histories of life. When Jesus came out of His tomb, He brought us and our stories out with Him, into Heaven's light!
Confess them, Reject Them, Correct Them, and Leave Them Behind!!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
25 Things - The Early Years
1. This is a response to a survey: "25 Little Known Things About Yourself".
2. I was born at a very early age, in the offices of Dr. Williams & Dr. Cochran.
3. My family at that time lived in a 2 story house, built by a plantation owner in 1823.
4. Remodeling through the years consisted of removing the rooms that had collapsed.
5. The house was something of a weather predictor. You knew it was snowing, if snow drifted in through the cracks in the back door of the center hall.
6. My sister and I shared bunk beds in the center hall. We had to knock on the kitchen wall to see if it was warm enough from the coal stove for us to get up.
7. Our farm at different times had sheep, cows, a pony, ducks, chickens... and all the grasses and feed for each one.
8. By age 5, testing at TEPPER CLINIC demonstrated that I was allergic to every animal, grass, and tree on our 320 acre farm... father's cigarette smoke was just an added bonus to the list.
9. I loved living on the farm, working with brother and sister, riding my bike, roaming the woods, playing with the "hired man's" children, going for family walks, taking our ducks to the creek.
10. One time in the creek, a snake shot out of a small hole, and bit me on the knuckle of my finger. I knew to walk, not run home, and show mom the teeth marks. She didn't believe me. I didn't die.
11. My dad could fix anything. He had been a glider pilot in WW 2, then trained Veterans in the new farming skills that had developed in the years they'd been off in Europe or Asia. Everything I know how to fix, I learned from being at my father's side.
12. My first memory of my mother is her being sick in bed. She was sick a lot, and off at the hospital for weeks or months at a time. But she loved us, and was a great cook. That came to mind, eating Father's fried bologna/cheese sandwiches (don't ask) while she was away.
13. One time we got a pony. I didn't cinch the saddle tight enough once. Galloping in the back yard, the saddle slid to the bottom! Fortunately, hitting a metal pole sideways kept me from scraping the ground. I have always assumed that a pole to the gut beat a hoof to the head!!
14. My sister taught me my ABC's and to count to 100 before school started. I always thought that was why I did well in school early on.
15. I cried EVERY DAY for 2 weeks in the first grade. Mrs. Elizabeth Emerson finally learned to teach the class and hold me like a baby for hours. I missed the farm and home so much.
16. My brother, 9 years older, would come home from college and give us rides on the local roads on the back of his Triumph motorcycle.
17. Our first phone number was 935-3470. We were part of the Ringgold Telephone system, still a pioneer today in technology. They even had rotary dial car phones, back then!!
18. Our first TV was a black and white Motorola. Reception could be improved by me going outside in whatever weather, and turning the pole the antenna was on until somebody yelled "that's it"!!
19. We were poor, in some ways. It was bigger than Christmas when Aunt Robbie or Aunt Imogene brought bags of clothes and things that cousins had outgrown. I loved Popular Science magazine, even though I only got it 5 years after the publication date.
20. I loved astronomy. With no street lights, and living in a valley, you could actually see the stars in the sky that were in the books. No trip to a dizzying planetarium necessary.
21. When a bad storm came, it was believed you could avoid a tornado destroying your home by opening the southwest facing windows. We always did.
22. A night thunderstorm was the best time to go catfishing in the creek. The electrical activity, and the wind blowing things onto the water, made the catfish stir, and easier to catch. Always take a raincoat on these type family adventures.
23. My dad once bought a bulldozer that had transmission trouble. He could weld accurately, and over several months repaired the thing, and was able to open up the creek banks so the cows could get water better. The EPD would have him in jail today for that.
24. I learned years later, that though we only had one car, each of our tractors cost 4-5 times the price of one of the kinfolk's 2nd cars.
25. I have come to believe that if you can't sent your children to college, just raise them poor on the farm. They will learn everything but the calculus... and when are they going to use that? (Except in GA TECH football cheers, and those can't be written here.)
2. I was born at a very early age, in the offices of Dr. Williams & Dr. Cochran.
3. My family at that time lived in a 2 story house, built by a plantation owner in 1823.
4. Remodeling through the years consisted of removing the rooms that had collapsed.
5. The house was something of a weather predictor. You knew it was snowing, if snow drifted in through the cracks in the back door of the center hall.
6. My sister and I shared bunk beds in the center hall. We had to knock on the kitchen wall to see if it was warm enough from the coal stove for us to get up.
7. Our farm at different times had sheep, cows, a pony, ducks, chickens... and all the grasses and feed for each one.
8. By age 5, testing at TEPPER CLINIC demonstrated that I was allergic to every animal, grass, and tree on our 320 acre farm... father's cigarette smoke was just an added bonus to the list.
9. I loved living on the farm, working with brother and sister, riding my bike, roaming the woods, playing with the "hired man's" children, going for family walks, taking our ducks to the creek.
10. One time in the creek, a snake shot out of a small hole, and bit me on the knuckle of my finger. I knew to walk, not run home, and show mom the teeth marks. She didn't believe me. I didn't die.
11. My dad could fix anything. He had been a glider pilot in WW 2, then trained Veterans in the new farming skills that had developed in the years they'd been off in Europe or Asia. Everything I know how to fix, I learned from being at my father's side.
12. My first memory of my mother is her being sick in bed. She was sick a lot, and off at the hospital for weeks or months at a time. But she loved us, and was a great cook. That came to mind, eating Father's fried bologna/cheese sandwiches (don't ask) while she was away.
13. One time we got a pony. I didn't cinch the saddle tight enough once. Galloping in the back yard, the saddle slid to the bottom! Fortunately, hitting a metal pole sideways kept me from scraping the ground. I have always assumed that a pole to the gut beat a hoof to the head!!
14. My sister taught me my ABC's and to count to 100 before school started. I always thought that was why I did well in school early on.
15. I cried EVERY DAY for 2 weeks in the first grade. Mrs. Elizabeth Emerson finally learned to teach the class and hold me like a baby for hours. I missed the farm and home so much.
16. My brother, 9 years older, would come home from college and give us rides on the local roads on the back of his Triumph motorcycle.
17. Our first phone number was 935-3470. We were part of the Ringgold Telephone system, still a pioneer today in technology. They even had rotary dial car phones, back then!!
18. Our first TV was a black and white Motorola. Reception could be improved by me going outside in whatever weather, and turning the pole the antenna was on until somebody yelled "that's it"!!
19. We were poor, in some ways. It was bigger than Christmas when Aunt Robbie or Aunt Imogene brought bags of clothes and things that cousins had outgrown. I loved Popular Science magazine, even though I only got it 5 years after the publication date.
20. I loved astronomy. With no street lights, and living in a valley, you could actually see the stars in the sky that were in the books. No trip to a dizzying planetarium necessary.
21. When a bad storm came, it was believed you could avoid a tornado destroying your home by opening the southwest facing windows. We always did.
22. A night thunderstorm was the best time to go catfishing in the creek. The electrical activity, and the wind blowing things onto the water, made the catfish stir, and easier to catch. Always take a raincoat on these type family adventures.
23. My dad once bought a bulldozer that had transmission trouble. He could weld accurately, and over several months repaired the thing, and was able to open up the creek banks so the cows could get water better. The EPD would have him in jail today for that.
24. I learned years later, that though we only had one car, each of our tractors cost 4-5 times the price of one of the kinfolk's 2nd cars.
25. I have come to believe that if you can't sent your children to college, just raise them poor on the farm. They will learn everything but the calculus... and when are they going to use that? (Except in GA TECH football cheers, and those can't be written here.)
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