Sixty Years of Changes in America - Guest Charles G. Jones

            Earlier this year Colorado became the first state to legalize the sale of marijuana for “recreational use.” One analyst on a Sunday TV political forum pointed out that users of marijuana typically drop 9 points in their I.Q. (100 is considered average) and commented, “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t have that much to spare.”

            A New York Times article several weeks ago (August 2^nd) promoted the positive impact of the new law on increased tourism and that DUI arrests were actually down compared to the previous year.

            By contrast another news report pointed out an unintended consequence of legalizing the drug. Some homeless shelters in Colorado have doubled the number of people they are serving compared to last year. The increase is directly tied to marijuana users moving to the state. One man interviewed at a shelter said he moved to the state so he could “enjoy his weed.” Apparently he believed “enjoying his weed” entitled him to a bed at a homeless shelter . . . or maybe it was the effect of losing 9 points of his I.Q. doing the talking.

            On the heels of Colorado’s legalization of marijuana debate comes a report (BBC Aug 8^th) on Americans’ trust in government. According to Pew Trust Surveys begun in 1958, Americans in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s had a nearly 80% trust rating of the government. Subsequent surveys have shown trust has been eroding ever since and now is at a low of 24%.

            Some mark the 1962 Supreme Court decision removing prayer from schools as the beginning of the moral slide in this country. This was a year after the introduction of “the pill” helped birth the “sexual revolution.” Then a few years later some in the academic community resurrected the idea that “God is dead.” Since the early 60’s our nation has gradually become increasingly secular, more cynical and dysfunctional. God and his values have increasingly been marginalized by society.

            This begs the question, “As a society are we better off now than we were before this shift in values?” With the possible exceptions in the area of race relations and women in the workplace the answer is no.

            Secularism with promises of “freedom” only made us slaves to disillusionment and cynicism. Its broken promises of happiness have been replaced it with the evil twins of entitlement and victim mentalities. Secularism’s ethics, which may be have been defined by the Greek philosopher Protagoras over 2,500 years ago “man is the measure of all things,” has produced a dysfunctional government and an impotent economy. Ultimately we do not answer to the measure of man, we will one day answer to the measure of God.

            The Bible’s response to secularism is, “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” (Proverbs 14:12 NASV)

            Secularism is not just a problem of government, business and culture at large it is a problem in the church too.

            After years of empty promises and moral decline spurred by secularism our nation desperately needs to return to Godly values.

Where do we begin? “Jesus said, I am the way and the truth and the life, no one comes to the father except he come by me.” We need to look beyond religion to find our answers, we need to look to a Savior. We need to reexamine the promises of God’s word . . . before it’s too late.

Rev. Charles G. Jones is a Baptist minister who lives in Watkinsville, Georgia.

Memorial Day - The Queen Mary

Some years ago I came upon a story about the service of the Queen Mary in World War 2.  When FDR and the Congress in Joint Session declared war on both Japan and Germany in response to the attack on Pearl Harbor, the President said:"This is a day which will live in infamy."

Winston Churchill, Prime Minister of Britain under King George VI said something entirely different: "Now we shall win!  Now we shall win!!"  (His country had been bombed by the German air force for years, and Churchill had been begging the USA to come join the fight, as in World War I.)

So the British Navy called home it's luxurious ocean liner of the Cunard Line, stripped it of it's furnishings, and sent it guarded by warships to New York City.  Thereafter, the largest and fastest ship in the world, the Queen Mary, became an American troop transport, bringing from 10 to 16,000 soldiers to the British Isles, in a build up to D-Day in June of 1944.

Hour after hour, day after day, week after week for years the Queen Mary, always at full throttle, went to Britain loaded with soldiers, and returned empty to New York to be filled again with the kind of Yanks who had helped save them in WW I.

After the Great War, the Queen Mary returned to her former services.  In 1962, Britain chose to dispose of "The Grand Old Lady", and it was sold to the City of Long Beach, CA.  That is where it serves today as a fine showpiece, hotel, and event center.

But the British are quite invested personally in their ships, and this one bore the name of Queen Elizabeth II's grandmother.  While in the USA, we use our old ships for target practice for our new technology.... the British, not so much.  Below are links to 2 videos from 1962, that together tell the story of the sendoff of the Queen Mary, and it's arrival on the West Coast.  WATCH THEM BOTH!!!

While we might think they were a little crazy, there is a reason.  Watch for the band playing!  Watch for the confetti and flags in the wind!  Look for the British sailors on several ships standing in salute as the Queen Mary leaves Southampton.  See the gray heads of the British people lining every available spot to view her departure.  Remember how cold the North Atlantic is in any season! Watch for the "Flying Anchor" by their helicopters till you see it.  Look for the flotilla of ships in the Long Beach harbor that accompany this massive and powerful ship to it's final destination.

WHY ALL THIS FUSS over a ship? Simply, they knew that this ship (by bringing American soldiers) helped save their lives, their country, and most of Europe from an evil dictator driving an evil political machine. Their response is just GRATITUDE for the service of one of the most faithful participants in the victories gained in the European theatre of World War II.

Maybe this will help us realize the value of those who gave so much, for so many, for so long....  You may have to highlight and then right click on the links for the option to play them.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ex33OMrYyE       No commentary

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IDgJ1ID-b4         Commentary by a British Newsman

A little fun trivia:  The Queen Mary II has one of the two horns from the Queen Mary.  On the rare occasion that the Queen Mary II visits California, the two ships greet each other with the sounding of their horns!  The Queens had the deepest and lowest tones of any horns, making their sounding unique from any other ships.

Yembi Yembi People to People

http://dsr.gd/Tirp1s   John Piper says this may be the best 30 minute investment of your time! I agree!

Wedding Wonders and Wanderings

Wedding season for many couples is here!! It's been my privilege to attend, officiate, usher, be a groomsman, be Father of the Bride, be escort to the bride, help plan a wedding, write the wedding service, do premarital counseling-coaching, help clean up after a wedding, and be an impromptu wedding director through the years.

I have deliberately watched the TLC show "Four Weddings", and also seen "The Wedding Planner," "The Proposal," "Father of the Bride," and "27 Dresses".

It is always a treat to work with a young couple in preparation for their "Big Day". There have been many things I've seen, some remarkable for both good and bad impact. (Too often I've seen more preparation for the wedding, than for the marriage that's to last a lifetime.)

There will always be something that goes wrong or awry at the rehearsal dinner, at the wedding, and at the reception. For example:  A hunting dog come into the chapel during rehearsal leaping over pews and chairs till he finally makes his way out!  A music system fail for an outdoor wedding. Microphones that worked perfectly fail to yield any sound during the service. Sound technicians providing a handheld microphone to a Minister who required a clip on.  Musicians missing their cues, playing wrong songs, soloists forgetting their words, or singing a song that was Definitely well out of their range. Brides becoming so emotional during the service they needed a embracing support hug from the minister.  Ministers calling the couple by the wrong names, or switching the first letters of the couples names.

Some of the best advice I've ever been given, which I pass on is:  Something WILL go wrong, don't let it ruin your day.  Work with it, and go on.  Watch the movies above, especially "Father of the Bride" for the FOTB!  "Walk Slowly Down the Aisle." For the groom's family, and this is from an etiquette expert: "Dress Up, Show Up, and Shut Up."  For everyone, ENJOY THE DAY!

Singleness, Dating, Marriage, Pain, Divorce, Recovery

From the Coaching, Counseling, Parenting, and Friend roles I work in, there seems to be a quagmire of problems that affect each person involved in any of the situations in the title.

I have a motto for my single friends:  "Take it Slow, Get to Know."  "We dated ___ years before we married, none of this came out," is said more often than I wish when the relationship ruptures.  Working with a premarital couple, we cover spiritual gifts, passions, values, personality types, many type inventories to make sure each KNOWS the person they are marrying. H. Norman Wright says that "premarital counseling is to help eliminate as many surprises as possible."  Don't Skip It!!

If you are single, and roaring to marriage, please take a statistical ssslllooowww down and look:  In the USA, there is a 50% chance you will be single again, (after a painful divorce.)  What type "singleness" would you like to be experiencing in 5 years?

We're told the divorce statistics are in equal among Christians... but that's misleading.  Among church member families where church attendance, Bible study, discipleship, and ministry are part of the life fabric, those families have a much lower divorce rate.

Too often I hear: "This is NOT the person I married, there has been a strange change in the last few years."  I always suggest: "Visit your doctor....I have seen a $25 co-pay stop a $25,000+ divorce".  We speak of addictions as 'chemical dependency'... we are ALL chemically dependent!!  Our body temperature, memory, breathing, blood chemicals, everything is operated by chemical reactions.

I know people who have a physical problem that can render them almost unfunctional.... and it can be defeated by pills that cost $3 for a year's supply!  No matter how great you feel, or young you think you are, our bodies change over time...and you just don't know what's going on inside without some testing, okay?

There is a lot of pain in divorce.  God said, "I hate Divorce." If marriage is symbolic of Christ's love for the Church, His Bride, then divorce is an insult to that picture that means so much to Him.  I have many friends and family members who have experienced the pain of divorce. It's no fun to walk with them and see that pain.  The recovery for children as well as parents can take quite a while. Some people advise waiting 5 years before remarriage, and I've have friends advise that as truth.  Dr. Kevin Leman says to single parents: "Till your children are grown, don't consider remarriage"....the stress and possible turmoil is too great.

Hope and Healing abound for any of these situations.  Studies like Making Peace With Your Past, DivorceCare, Soul Healing, are all great helps.  It can be helpful to talk with a few soul-mate friends, a coach, or counselor, to help you get through some of the tougher times.  Bottling feelings is never helpful or healthy... they are coming out!!  How a person feels (their perception), is how they are convinced things are!!

At the Relationship Center in Bartow (678-894-6545) there are resources and resourceful people to talk with about problem and difficulties.  One of my personal favorite mottoes is "Change the Story" and we get to see it happen a lot. "Adding Hope to Help" is a phrase I learned in high school, and I've been drawing on it's suggestion for years.

The Crazy Train!! by Guest Dick Forbes

Do you ever think you are on board the “crazy train of relationships”? Do you think sometimes "this isn’t what I saw in the display window?  Did I really sign up for this?"  The answer maybe yes!
A crazy relationship leaves you feeling like an unstable, angry person. You soon doubt your interpretation of events and experiences.
Here’s a quiz to find out if your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend or ex has you on the “crazy train”

• Do they fly into rages without warning over relatively trivial matters like a web page loading too slowly?
• Are you always the scapegoat/bad guy whenever they are frustrated, disappointed or just plain bored?
• Do their friends (that is, if they have any) describe them as a “bully/drama queen?”
• Do they describe themselves as a drama queen/bully? If so, congrats. You found one with a modicum of self-awareness.
• Is her lipstick a little too red or his hair a little too slick? Is it applied like theater makeup and a tad crooked?
• Are they a black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinker?
• Do you lie to your family, friends and colleagues about what goes on at home?
• Do you find yourself making excuses to your family, friends and colleagues for their inexcusable behavior?
• Do you find yourself walking on eggshells around them?
• Do they hate your friends and family and become angry or tearful when you spend time with them?
• Are they pathologically jealous?
• Do they project their feelings onto you? For example, they are yelling and raging and then accuse you of being angry.
• Do they focus solely on their emotional experience while exhibiting little or no empathy for yours?
• Have you distanced yourself from friends and family because of your relationship?
• Do they place you on a pedestal one day only to tear you down the next day? “I’ve never known anyone like you before. You’re so wonderful!” Next day: “You’re the devil! You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met! You don’t love me!”
• Do they put you into “no win” situations in which nothing you do is good enough and you’re guaranteed to fail?

If you answered “yes” to more than two of these questions, you may be involved with a crazy maker. You’re not alone. They’re everywhere.
Most of the people who ended up in my counseling office were there because they were experiencing stress, depression or anxiety as a result from being in a relationship with an emotionally abusive person.  Ironically, most of the time they were shamed and pathologized into seeking counseling by these people. Never mind that most of the symptoms my clients experienced were a direct result of being in a relationship with an abuser.
If you think you may be involved with an abusive person, good luck. They typically refuse any type of counseling and they never really get any better. If you choose to stay in the relationship, I strongly recommend you educate yourself about the signs and symptoms of abuse, personality disorders and learn some basic behavioral management skills.
Thanks to Dr Tara Palmatier

Dick Forbes can be reached at 770.386.0608 or ForbesCounseling.com 

Email: dsforbes@bellsouth.net

Tear Down This Wall - Transparency.... Guest Blog by Charles G. Jones, Baptist minister of Watkinsville, GA

            “Tear down this wall!”

            These words of Ronald Regan uttered in a speech at the Berlin Wall in 1987 have long been remembered as a gauntlet thrown at the feet of Communism. In a few years the Berlin Wall and a figurative wall known as “The Iron Curtain” both tumbled into the ashes of history.

            Walls are built for many reasons, some are built to keep things in, others for protection and still others to hide something from view.

            Walls can be constructed of soil, block, brick, mortar and stone. Yet some walls are constructed in people’s hearts and minds. These are walls built of fear, prejudice, ignorance and pride. These are the walls which are most often the most impenetrable, especially for those who have something to hide.

            Jesus used the term “whitewashed tomb” and Paul similarly the term “whitewashed wall” to describe people pride fully hiding behind a wall of religion the fact that they were really not very religious.  Jesus said, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisee, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” (Matthew 23:27-28 NASB)

            We all struggle with issues of transparency. Prudence dictates that some things should not be hung on the clothesline for the entire world to see. All of us have done things we are not proud of. But those to whom Jesus spoke were involved in an ongoing cover-up, trying to hide their spiritual bankruptcy behind a wall of self-righteous tradition.

            On the other hand there are the overlooked walls built by those trying to protect themselves from repeated abuse of others. Sometimes that abuse has come at the hands of people claiming to be religious.  I hear them sometimes saying “I’m o.k. with God, it’s the church I have problems with.” Their walls attempt to hide the bitterness, brokenness, resentfulness and un-forgiveness as if to say nothing is wrong, God’s still working here. It’s a cover up, hiding behind a wall.

            Hiding behind either wall is not healthy. Jesus response to those “religious people” who crucified him was “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

            Jesus response to the broken is “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:10-12)

            None of us is perfect . . . save One . . . the One who saved us.

            Yet beyond him we . . . especially we who claim to be Christians . . . must tear down walls of self-righteousness, fear and pretension.  We must replace them with bridges of honesty, transparency and grace.

            Then and only then will we become the people God can use to touch those who are walking in darkness, hiding behind their own hand hewed walls of fear or pretension.

Rev. Charles G. Jones is a Baptist minister who lives in Watkinsville, GA.