The Crazy Train!! by Guest Dick Forbes

Do you ever think you are on board the “crazy train of relationships”? Do you think sometimes "this isn’t what I saw in the display window?  Did I really sign up for this?"  The answer maybe yes!
A crazy relationship leaves you feeling like an unstable, angry person. You soon doubt your interpretation of events and experiences.
Here’s a quiz to find out if your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend or ex has you on the “crazy train”

• Do they fly into rages without warning over relatively trivial matters like a web page loading too slowly?
• Are you always the scapegoat/bad guy whenever they are frustrated, disappointed or just plain bored?
• Do their friends (that is, if they have any) describe them as a “bully/drama queen?”
• Do they describe themselves as a drama queen/bully? If so, congrats. You found one with a modicum of self-awareness.
• Is her lipstick a little too red or his hair a little too slick? Is it applied like theater makeup and a tad crooked?
• Are they a black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinker?
• Do you lie to your family, friends and colleagues about what goes on at home?
• Do you find yourself making excuses to your family, friends and colleagues for their inexcusable behavior?
• Do you find yourself walking on eggshells around them?
• Do they hate your friends and family and become angry or tearful when you spend time with them?
• Are they pathologically jealous?
• Do they project their feelings onto you? For example, they are yelling and raging and then accuse you of being angry.
• Do they focus solely on their emotional experience while exhibiting little or no empathy for yours?
• Have you distanced yourself from friends and family because of your relationship?
• Do they place you on a pedestal one day only to tear you down the next day? “I’ve never known anyone like you before. You’re so wonderful!” Next day: “You’re the devil! You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met! You don’t love me!”
• Do they put you into “no win” situations in which nothing you do is good enough and you’re guaranteed to fail?

If you answered “yes” to more than two of these questions, you may be involved with a crazy maker. You’re not alone. They’re everywhere.
Most of the people who ended up in my counseling office were there because they were experiencing stress, depression or anxiety as a result from being in a relationship with an emotionally abusive person.  Ironically, most of the time they were shamed and pathologized into seeking counseling by these people. Never mind that most of the symptoms my clients experienced were a direct result of being in a relationship with an abuser.
If you think you may be involved with an abusive person, good luck. They typically refuse any type of counseling and they never really get any better. If you choose to stay in the relationship, I strongly recommend you educate yourself about the signs and symptoms of abuse, personality disorders and learn some basic behavioral management skills.
Thanks to Dr Tara Palmatier

Dick Forbes can be reached at 770.386.0608 or ForbesCounseling.com 

Email: dsforbes@bellsouth.net

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