Doing My Father's Will:
30 years ago in October, I received a short phone call after church that my father had died. That event, coming 15 years after my mother's death, opened a rather challenging life story. When my mother died, after years of emotional (mental illness) I said out loud to the ceiling, "the nightmare is over." When my father died, my mental response was: "the nightmare has begun again." He left a business of rental property, and I knew that would be complex to operate from a mile away. Three days after his death, he had an appointment for a physical that would have guaranteed an insurance policy that would cover all the final expenses and inheritance taxes....
So, I became sole executor of my father's estate, upon probation of his will "in solemn form". The new executor immediately engaged a recommended attorney to help navigate the tricky business of "settling the estate." From them I learned the one page will was not what it should have been, and measures were taken to insure that I could properly do my 3 duties as executor: "Marshall the assets, protect and advance the assets, and distribute the assets." Seemed overall simple enough.
At the same time, I also became fiduciary of my father's estate: I was the money man, in change of financial matters. I also became the trustee of the estate, the person/entity who is the legal signer of all documentation, as if my father were still living, doing business himself. Finally, from the will itself, I was already an "heir at will".... designated as one of those people to whom the executor side of me would someday begin distributing the assets of the estate. It's not been all that easy.
Thankful am I to the person who told me: "you will not believe what will happen, what you will face, with people where money is involved." I have been sued by someone whose deed from my father on a piece of property had an error by a careless surveyor... after $6,000 legal fees, the attorneys advised: "there is indeed no merit to their claim, but you might as well quitclaim now, lest this become the most expensive piece of property in the County." (In other words, "you're stupid to keep paying us!"). I have had to collect debts owed to my father from those who "were sure he was going to give them a break, he was a real nice guy." "Yes, I knew the man, too. He never mentioned any adjustment. He's dead, but I am not, and he would have requested payment. "
So for 30 years, longer than I actually had conscious knowledge of the man, I have tried to faithfully execute my father's will. It has not always been easy, and has probably the one thing in my life that has been the biggest test sometimes. When the CPA who was to do the 706 kept procrastinating completing the "Death Tax Return", I had to drive to his office, collect the papers, and do it myself. (Don't EVER try that!) Much to my surprise, the estate was NOT debt-free, and the funds on hand were not sufficient to pay the final taxes. Thanks to a local banker's trust, the executor was given a loan of $25,000 in 19 days on a house in another county they had never (and have never) seen, in order to pay the taxes. (Thankfully, under President Ronald Reagan, the ceiling on inheritance taxes was raised dramatically, and future executors were not placed in the same challenging circumstances.) One heir in particular kept asking about "distributions" and I had to explain there were no funds to distribute, that the bills and taxes were absorbing all the income. I finally had to ask, "you weren't planning on his death, were you?"
Recently, upon preparing the 25th tax return for the KRB estate, the CPA just asked me if we were going to have a "silver celebration" of 25 years of business of the Kenneth R. Bandy Estate. I replied, "No, that would be celebrating the 25th anniversary of my father's death, and I don't believe I'll be doing that." He was horrified when he realized what he'd said, yet I thought it was HILARIOUS, and knew father would have found it quite humorous as well. It may be the highest and lightest point of this adventure, and I have enjoyed re-telling that story! (The CPA is still not yet over his embarrassment!)
SOOO, as best I know, as best I could, even 30 years removed from a conversation with my dad, I have done what I thought was right, and what he would have done if he were in my unique position. Until I file final papers with the Judge, the KRB estate continues to function.
A more important question keeps coming to mind, that I'm not so sure about: Have I been as faithful about my FATHER's WILL, as I have been about my dad's? Everything about my dad's estate will eventually be nothing, with the rest of this world. It's a question that will not go away: Am I fulfulling my obligation and calling, to execute my FATHER'S WILL?
Showing posts with label Trusting God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trusting God. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Friday, December 23, 2011
Genesis 37:15 "Between"
I woke early, my mind singing “In The Bleak Mid-Winter”… Gloucester Cathedral Choir - In the Bleak Midwinter http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRobryliBLQ
I love using this Genesis 37:15 verse (Amplified) with friends and my younger brothers; maybe their “must have” college class closed out, maybe their A became a C from the final, maybe mom/dad has said, “Grow Up, Get Out”, maybe 1/2 of 3 different jobs is still not enough. Genesis 37:15 is just an iReport from Canaan, zooming in on the life of one of Abraham’s great-grandchildren.
Joseph, on his first errand for father, had a misadventure. And there were more ahead: the bottom of the well, and the bottom of Egypt’s jail.
Yet he was headed to being the trusted household manager for Pharaoh’s head of Secret Service (Potiphar – that’s what his job was!). He was also headed toward being the 2nd most important leader of the largest civilized society of the time. He would show himself as being a veritable genius in both agriculture, logistics, and inventory control of the food supply in Egypt. A negotiator of peaceful internal and external affairs he became, engaged with serving millions of people.
So what was Joseph doing on this early assignment in life, depicted in the Amplified Version of Genesis 37:15? “… lost, wandering in the fields”. Doesn’t sound too fruitful, does it? (Perhaps the man who asked him a question was a Life Coach!)
Been there, I have. He was making absolutely NO progress, with all his useful, youthful energy and freedom and ability to travel in ANY direction.
Bottom of the well? Put there deliberately by those who would have Joseph gone forever, (and would lie to their own daddy about it.) Yes, still have my ticket stub somewhere from that ride!! Bottom of the jail? Put there by lies, deception, accusations that were as deliberate as they were untrue. I’ve visited there, truly have… if you haven’t yet, well, it’s coming!
So, if it seems like a “bleak mid-winter” time to you, maybe Joseph’s diary will give some comfort!!
I love using this Genesis 37:15 verse (Amplified) with friends and my younger brothers; maybe their “must have” college class closed out, maybe their A became a C from the final, maybe mom/dad has said, “Grow Up, Get Out”, maybe 1/2 of 3 different jobs is still not enough. Genesis 37:15 is just an iReport from Canaan, zooming in on the life of one of Abraham’s great-grandchildren.
Joseph, on his first errand for father, had a misadventure. And there were more ahead: the bottom of the well, and the bottom of Egypt’s jail.
Yet he was headed to being the trusted household manager for Pharaoh’s head of Secret Service (Potiphar – that’s what his job was!). He was also headed toward being the 2nd most important leader of the largest civilized society of the time. He would show himself as being a veritable genius in both agriculture, logistics, and inventory control of the food supply in Egypt. A negotiator of peaceful internal and external affairs he became, engaged with serving millions of people.
So what was Joseph doing on this early assignment in life, depicted in the Amplified Version of Genesis 37:15? “… lost, wandering in the fields”. Doesn’t sound too fruitful, does it? (Perhaps the man who asked him a question was a Life Coach!)
Been there, I have. He was making absolutely NO progress, with all his useful, youthful energy and freedom and ability to travel in ANY direction.
Bottom of the well? Put there deliberately by those who would have Joseph gone forever, (and would lie to their own daddy about it.) Yes, still have my ticket stub somewhere from that ride!! Bottom of the jail? Put there by lies, deception, accusations that were as deliberate as they were untrue. I’ve visited there, truly have… if you haven’t yet, well, it’s coming!
So, if it seems like a “bleak mid-winter” time to you, maybe Joseph’s diary will give some comfort!!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
A Few More Minutes
Ephesians 3: 20-21. Recently saw picture of a "facebook server farm". One of many Huge facilities with Huge rooms Big as Walmart, Filled with racks of computers around the country that support Just Facebook. And I think: "Paul said HE had more capacity than this, and it is on call."
The first time I chaperoned a TBC youth trip to camp in 2003, I'd had years of poor life quality due to inner ear. Many family trips missed, many many events walked out of, many meals left at restaurants to sit in car, taking my meds, wearing my electronic wristband, waiting for family to finish and bring my box. Drive 8 hours to vacation Saturday, be able to leave the condo for lunch by Wednesday...
So I go because the Youth Minister has asked me to fill a sudden adult vacancy, and the girls say "It's the closest that camp will ever be." I drive behind the church bus that I cannot ride, have lunch at a mall food court (which is always a challenge) to an altitude that makes my heart drop. In the first worship service, the fear, nausea, moist eyes began. Out come pills, and electronic bracelet. I already knew where the nearest exits and stairways were (my first check of ANY building!) There were a dozen people to cross over in theater seats, and I'd be on the stairs... maybe I wouldn't throw up in this lovely building, in front of 800 students, 70 from TBC. Maybe I wouldn't have a panic attack, and collapse against a outdoor wall, trembling with sweat in the Georgia summer heat.
And HE SAID: "Can you trust me for just a few more minutes?" Hmmm "you know my history, my life, how warm this balcony is, with all this movement" And HE SAID: "a few more minutes?" Not for camp, not for today, or even the 3 hour session, just maybe 3 minutes. So I said "Yes", and started watching my second hand. I'd taken my pills, the wrist band was working so hard my hand was curling at every impulse; I'd done all I could do.
And I began to calm!! Like never before, in the midst of loud challenging music, a sea of motion- filled teens, and a light show beyond lightning, and I'm beginning to relax!! The symptoms are subsiding. In 5 minutes, we "renewed" our contract of "just a few more minutes". And the minutes continued, and He told me: "you do your part, and I'll do MINE".
Yes, I'd been through 8 years of specialist therapy, which I continue today. And sometimes, I don't know with certainty, what my part is... and He still says, "you do your part, then I'll do MINE".
Praying with you, for the next few minutes....
The first time I chaperoned a TBC youth trip to camp in 2003, I'd had years of poor life quality due to inner ear. Many family trips missed, many many events walked out of, many meals left at restaurants to sit in car, taking my meds, wearing my electronic wristband, waiting for family to finish and bring my box. Drive 8 hours to vacation Saturday, be able to leave the condo for lunch by Wednesday...
So I go because the Youth Minister has asked me to fill a sudden adult vacancy, and the girls say "It's the closest that camp will ever be." I drive behind the church bus that I cannot ride, have lunch at a mall food court (which is always a challenge) to an altitude that makes my heart drop. In the first worship service, the fear, nausea, moist eyes began. Out come pills, and electronic bracelet. I already knew where the nearest exits and stairways were (my first check of ANY building!) There were a dozen people to cross over in theater seats, and I'd be on the stairs... maybe I wouldn't throw up in this lovely building, in front of 800 students, 70 from TBC. Maybe I wouldn't have a panic attack, and collapse against a outdoor wall, trembling with sweat in the Georgia summer heat.
And HE SAID: "Can you trust me for just a few more minutes?" Hmmm "you know my history, my life, how warm this balcony is, with all this movement" And HE SAID: "a few more minutes?" Not for camp, not for today, or even the 3 hour session, just maybe 3 minutes. So I said "Yes", and started watching my second hand. I'd taken my pills, the wrist band was working so hard my hand was curling at every impulse; I'd done all I could do.
And I began to calm!! Like never before, in the midst of loud challenging music, a sea of motion- filled teens, and a light show beyond lightning, and I'm beginning to relax!! The symptoms are subsiding. In 5 minutes, we "renewed" our contract of "just a few more minutes". And the minutes continued, and He told me: "you do your part, and I'll do MINE".
Yes, I'd been through 8 years of specialist therapy, which I continue today. And sometimes, I don't know with certainty, what my part is... and He still says, "you do your part, then I'll do MINE".
Praying with you, for the next few minutes....
Friday, December 25, 2009
Ben McNeal Day
A wealthy fellow in NC heard of Ben's illness a few months ago at a prayer meeting, and had this video made about my wife Lisa's nephew in Wake Forest, NC, Ben McNeal. After his mom died of ALS in 1990, his dad Don married my wife's sister Paula. They moved to Wake Forest with oldest son Daniel so that dad Don could work on a degree at Southeastern Seminary.
In 2008, Ben's older Marine brother Daniel was sent home from his 2nd tour in Iraq, having developed the disease. Daniel died in June of 2008, leaving behind a wife and stepson. His decline followed the 6th month pattern of his mom's.
In the summer of 2009, Ben was diagnosed with ALS after beginning to lose muscle control in his left arm... in November he had no function in his left arm or hand, and had lost movement in his right hand. Ben would have been 22 on his birthday December 15th. There was very little that he could do for himself, physically.... BUT: He did become a source of encouragement to those around him!!
Several church and community friends rallied around him, befriended him, and did special events for him. A special "Ben McNeal Day" was held November 5th in Wake Forest, with police escort, a luncheon, high school band, red carpet, and Chic-fil-A for all! That night, Ben and 20 friends were taken by limo to a "Casting Crowns" concert in Raleigh, all with backstage passes to meet the band, and 6 with front row seats...
This is a video that the sponsor of the "Ben McNeal Day" made to be played at the special luncheon. Dad Don speaks first about the effects of ALS, and death of his first wife, and oldest son; then Ben shares.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szgy--GMuF4
In 2008, Ben's older Marine brother Daniel was sent home from his 2nd tour in Iraq, having developed the disease. Daniel died in June of 2008, leaving behind a wife and stepson. His decline followed the 6th month pattern of his mom's.
In the summer of 2009, Ben was diagnosed with ALS after beginning to lose muscle control in his left arm... in November he had no function in his left arm or hand, and had lost movement in his right hand. Ben would have been 22 on his birthday December 15th. There was very little that he could do for himself, physically.... BUT: He did become a source of encouragement to those around him!!
Several church and community friends rallied around him, befriended him, and did special events for him. A special "Ben McNeal Day" was held November 5th in Wake Forest, with police escort, a luncheon, high school band, red carpet, and Chic-fil-A for all! That night, Ben and 20 friends were taken by limo to a "Casting Crowns" concert in Raleigh, all with backstage passes to meet the band, and 6 with front row seats...
This is a video that the sponsor of the "Ben McNeal Day" made to be played at the special luncheon. Dad Don speaks first about the effects of ALS, and death of his first wife, and oldest son; then Ben shares.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szgy--GMuF4
Monday, October 12, 2009
Chasing Daylight - McManus
Just had a chance to read a very challenging book by the Pastor of Mosiac Church in Los Angeles. Erwin McManus is known for several of his writings, but this is an especially motivating work. The entire study is from I Samuel 14, and focuses on Jonathan, son of Saul.
The Israelite army is pinned down by their adversaries, the Philistines. (Seems like the Hebrew people are historically in someone's crosshairs.) King Saul was not taking action against the enemy, and his son Jonathan had a moment of inspiration, which he shared with his armor-bearer: "Come, let's go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. None can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many, or by few." His armor-bearer replied,"Do all that you have in mind. Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul".
McManus points out the Choices available to Jonathan, the Initiative God's work requires, and the Uncertainty involved in adventuring with the Lord. Jonathan's life had an Influence on his companion, which helped both of them take a Risk for God.... something that is always present, if we are going to Advance the kingdom. When we make an Impact for the Lord's work, often a Movement occurs that can lead to the Awakening of God's people. (Okay, I gave you the chapter headings, capitalized!)
Again and again, the author points out the importance of responding in the moment of invitation to be partners with the Lord. One of my favorite quotes in the book reveals the impact we should be having on others: "What you may never see is the number of people who are pulled into God's purpose for their lives through the wind shear of your obedience". Simply, when we follow the Lord, others are challenged and emboldened to answer their individual call, as well.
Currently in our young singles/college group, there are at least 4 young ladies, and 8 young men who are either in studies, training, or have already answered God's call to full-time service. It wasn't necessarily one "going to the altar" and others following.... it was more like what Eugene Petersen refers to as a "long obedience in the same direction" for each of them. They each kept going forward, stepping into ministry opportunities, that led them to their present moving status.
Back to Jonathan, it's possible to read but not see the Risk and Uncertainty evident in these few verses: "Come, let's go.... perhaps the Lord will act..." How's that for an action plan for a church or ministry committee? I want to start trying more often to see opportunities where the Lord may just be waiting for someone to step up, and step into a greater part of His work!
The Israelite army is pinned down by their adversaries, the Philistines. (Seems like the Hebrew people are historically in someone's crosshairs.) King Saul was not taking action against the enemy, and his son Jonathan had a moment of inspiration, which he shared with his armor-bearer: "Come, let's go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. None can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many, or by few." His armor-bearer replied,"Do all that you have in mind. Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul".
McManus points out the Choices available to Jonathan, the Initiative God's work requires, and the Uncertainty involved in adventuring with the Lord. Jonathan's life had an Influence on his companion, which helped both of them take a Risk for God.... something that is always present, if we are going to Advance the kingdom. When we make an Impact for the Lord's work, often a Movement occurs that can lead to the Awakening of God's people. (Okay, I gave you the chapter headings, capitalized!)
Again and again, the author points out the importance of responding in the moment of invitation to be partners with the Lord. One of my favorite quotes in the book reveals the impact we should be having on others: "What you may never see is the number of people who are pulled into God's purpose for their lives through the wind shear of your obedience". Simply, when we follow the Lord, others are challenged and emboldened to answer their individual call, as well.
Currently in our young singles/college group, there are at least 4 young ladies, and 8 young men who are either in studies, training, or have already answered God's call to full-time service. It wasn't necessarily one "going to the altar" and others following.... it was more like what Eugene Petersen refers to as a "long obedience in the same direction" for each of them. They each kept going forward, stepping into ministry opportunities, that led them to their present moving status.
Back to Jonathan, it's possible to read but not see the Risk and Uncertainty evident in these few verses: "Come, let's go.... perhaps the Lord will act..." How's that for an action plan for a church or ministry committee? I want to start trying more often to see opportunities where the Lord may just be waiting for someone to step up, and step into a greater part of His work!
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