Is There A Thug In Your Life? Dick S. Forbes, MA

Most of us will never know what it is like to live under a dictatorship, fanatical religious regime or an oppressive crazy government. However, there are folks who live in a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2 car garage, 1.5 children, dog and a cat home that feels like a dictatorship. They suffer emotional abuse everyday. Instead of being gunned down they feel the controlling, abusive, delusional behavior just like the Supreme Leader.
Here are some points to consider that you might be involved with a Thug, much like the mob:

·         It is their way or the highway. There is no adult, reasonable conversation. You better cave in or else there will be a price to pay.

·         Do you end up having your secret place you have to hide in when things really go south? The basement? Your car? Curled up in a fetal poison in the laundry room?

·         The Thug denies reality, facts and events. They squash any attempt you try to take care of yourself.  They isolate you from friends and family and tell you how bad those people are. They threaten you not to tell anyone what is going on in your home; it’s between the two of you. No friends or family allowed. No third parties and definitely no counseling.

·         The fact that you request to be treated with basic kindness, fairness and some respect falls on deaf ears, La, La, La, La, La.  If you do express any kind of hurt feelings it will get turned around on you.

·         This point is just crazy. They insist on their view of reality even if you have video, audio and eye witnesses to their behavior. They will stick to their delusion of reality.

·         All Thugs are cowards! If and when you stand up to the Thug, they will enlist an army around them and play the victim role to the hilt.  They will end up trying to destroy you. They will use money, children and anything else that will work to create a smear campaign.

·         This one is just down right abuse. They will turn your children against you portraying themselves as the good, sacrificing and wronged parent.  The parent who is the one that “really” loves the children. 

·         You cannot make any sense of the Thug’s behavior, their warped sense of reality and the things they say. However, if you get to the real facts of what they are saying and doing they fall apart on you and attack. They are right and you are wrong, so get over it.

If there is a Thug in your life, do what you can to get help.  The Thug will not change until some catastrophe happens and even then it is no guarantee they will get help or change.  The Thug has been wounded somewhere in their life.  You unfortunately have been the recipient of that woundedness.

Dick Forbes can be reached at 770.386.0608 or Email: dsforbes@bellsouth.net

www.forbescounseling.com