Guest Blog: Dick Forbes: "Internet Dating Red Flags 2"

So you’re out of a painful, destructive, financially draining relationship.  Now you find yourself understandably lonely and would like to try the dating scene again. You would like to find that partner to spend some time with and maybe have that soul mate experience, get married and live blissfully and happily forever and ever.    It is possible.  I have met and know couples who have met through social media or dating sites. Now, at this point in your journey you may be a little cautious and little gun shy, given that you thought you had found “the one” only to realize once the commitment was made, they pulled off the mask only to find crazy.  “That’s not what I saw in the store window!”
The Internet is here to stay as far as looking for love. There are good and decent people out there looking. The Internet is easy and quick to network. You don’t have to get all dressed up and smell good; you can do it in your PJ’s. It’s just like doing your Christmas shopping on Amazon.
Now, what would be really cool if there was a customer review section on these dating sites like Amazon. For example, “this person looks nothing like their picture on the site.” Or, “this person killed my cat in their fit of rage.” Unfortunately there are no customer review sections on these sites.  I do believe you can recognize certain red flags that might be helpful.
1. “My Ex………”Anytime it starts off with my ex and they rant and rave about this or that and they will not put up with that kind behavior in their future relationships. They may be true statements about their ex but they still haven’t dealt with their anger.  They need  a therapist!
2. “My CHILDREN are my WORLD!!!!” Odds are, you are going to meet divorced people who have kids. It is wonderful that these people want you to know they love their kids but it should go without saying.  If children are their world then they need to give their kids a break and get their own world.
3. “I live with my parents.” This one goes without any explanation.  I do understand that people may hit difficult times and need some help. Some my move back home to care for aging parent but other that certain circumstances it should be self explanatory.
4. “Accept me as I am.” Used cars come with stickers that may say “as is” no warranty.  “Accept me as I am,” means that you cannot disagree with me or criticize me in any way. Never ever!
5. “I want a real man or real woman.” What does that mean? I can only guess. It likely means that they have unrealistic expectations of their “real mate.”  You will never meet those expectations so mark this one off the list.

6. “I’m new to this internet dating thingy.” This is a good one.  They are probably not telling the truth unless they just became single. Why would they not tell the truth/, because they have sent countless men and women running for their lives. You can usually check the “member since” on many of theses sites.
Dick Forbes can be reached at www.ForbesCounseling.com for more humorous and insightful help!