Recently I wrote a note to a friend whose family was going through a difficult time, and looking for some answers.... I found them hard to come by, and here's my reply:
I am so sorry about the trouble for all of you with these difficulties. I have nothing close to an answer. Some words from Job help me: "When He has tried me, I will come forth as gold". But a lot of folks talk about the end chapter, about how God doubled everything and blessed Job greatly. More donkeys, sheep, more stuff. Twice as much. Yes, I agree, I see that.
And I want to Scream: "Yes! But he buried seven!! Somewhere back in the back, there are seven tombstones!!" All I know is what I learned with the difficult decline of my mother-in-law. Somehow, because of all I'd been through, I realized I'd kind of attached to her, and it was as if I had a "real mom" again. And then she slowly faded... ( I just freaked out several times - really freaked - really wierd emotional freaky, that I didn't understand). Now I know it's called secondary trauma.
Anyway, what I learned, I share again and again with folks supporting loved ones: "You feel like every part of you is being crushed, slowly, and that you are being stuffed through an old timey key hole, and there is so little you can do....but there will be graces along the way."
I tell even my college - & young singles guys, so they'll know: "there are some things in life that will never be fixed, except by a good cry". I can't imagine the amount of eyeliner you must have ruined.....
But I do like to listen to this song, it helps me a lot, sometimes. You may prefer to just minimize the video about Columbine and listen to the song, that's what I do. We will continue to pray.
Love,
Tom B
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uQCLzebZwo&feature=PlayList&p=C396BD50C182BEF6&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=33
